The Inspiration
This website was partly inspired by a video I saw on The Guardian on International Women’s Day.
“Childless: why is society so frightened of women without children?” takes a look at the countless (and often negative) reactions faced by women of various ages and cultures when they’ve expressed their choice to not have a child. Most importantly, it brings up the social conditioning women are subjected to, and the pressures on us to become mothers.
There’s a general assumption and correlation between womanhood and motherhood. One balances out the other, the latter somehow also defining the former. Having a child – or children – is not seen as a decision, but rather an inevitability. Railing against this “inevitability” is frowned upon so severely, that a woman’s ability to make decisions for herself gets called into question. Our ability to “know real love” is doubted. Our interest in humanity, in kindness and empathy, are assumed to be lacking.
Once again, in yet another capacity, we as women are labelled be “insane”, “unwell”, “unpredictable”, “selfish”, “out of control”, for making our own decisions under the mandate that women must one day become mothers.
The Profiles
After watching the Childless video I felt very angry that women have to deal with these reactions over something that is a personal lifestyle choice. Something that’s not up for debate or discussion.
As a woman who has decided not to have kids, I wanted to come up with a way to express my own view and story, but I didn’t want it to be in the form of some rant in a comments section. I also wanted to involve other women, and deliver our stories in a unique way.
I reached out to a handful of women online and talked with them, not just about why they didn’t want to have kids, but also about what they did want instead. We talked about their lives, their backgrounds and futures. These conversations have formed the basis of the profiles you’ll find on the Blog page.
The profiles are meant to give an accurate portrayal of what a child-free life looks like, and hopefully answer many of the usual and unusual questions/assumptions people have about women like us. And if you’re a woman on the fence about whether or not to have a child, or have already made the decision not to and don’t know how to tell your family, maybe you’ll find something here that’ll help you make the right decision for you.
If you’re a man who doesn’t want to become a father, but have never met a woman who doesn’t want children, maybe you’ll gain some insight here. The effects of these conversations will be many, and I hope they are positive for people of any and every gender — though when I say woman/women here, I do mean women physically able to give birth.
What are child-free women like?
Inspiring, maternal in other ways, giving, selfless, conscious, aware, beautiful, powerful and brave as hell. We know the powers of love, friendship and devotion, we know what we want from our lives and how to get it, and we’re unafraid to put ourselves and loved ones at the core of our goals.
We’re not going to change our minds. We’re not going to regret it. We’re not going to die alone, and we certainly don’t hate children. It’s just that we’d rather involve the people, animals, experiences and opportunities that come into our lives in different ways. In the ways that we choose.
Because it’s our choice.
It's Our Choice 